The Lounge

"Johnny, get on the piano, let's do this. 30 years in the business. I wanna welcome everybody to The Lounge. You've heard of 'Rapper's Delight'? Well, I'm the one who did it. I've got my buddy Asher Roth with me, straight out of the Phillidelphia, PA. Here's a little Ham & Eggs comin' right at ya."

I got a question what's a rapper look like?
Is he tan is he black/white?
Is he blacked-out high on the crack pipe?
Or more the cats that'll ride on the half-pipe?

Don't want to act like I know about the rap type,
Cause matter of fact I can't grasp who rap likes,
With their cash do they stash for retirement,
Or go for finer things like rides and diamonds?

I gotta question what's a rapper look like?
Is he tan is he black/white?
Is he blacked-out high on the crack pipe?
Or more the cats that'll ride on the half-pipe?

Don't wanna act like I know about the rap type,
Cause matter of fact I can't grasp who rap likes,
With their cash do they stash for retirement,
Or go for finer things like rides and diamonds?

And another question how do they dress?
Are they best cut threads or are they spend less?
I'm interested it's caught my attention,
Does everybody rap get arrested?

And with they sex do they all have ho's,
Or do some have a girl that they learn and they grow with?
I like to know what makes a rapper,
It might be me but I don't think it matters.

What does he look like nobody knows,
He's just a rapper in plain clothes,
When the curtain falls after the show,
Where does he go nobody knows.

Now it's your call short, fat, or tall,
What if he's a she and not a he at all,
Or does a broad have to a be a C at least,
Or can it be decreased if she real up on the beat?

And is she realer if she raised in the street,
Or can they still feel her if she raised in CT?
And if they spit do they have to have kids,
Or can they have a mom, a dad, and little sis?

And in the morning do they have to have grits,
Or can they favorite breakfast be eggs benedict?
It makes me think is there a rapping type,
And if so what's a rapper like?

And do they sell drugs or go to school?
Cocaine or college tell me what's the rule?
I'd like to know what makes a rapper,
It might be me but I don't think it matters.

What does he look like nobody knows,
He's just a rapper in plain clothes,
When the curtain falls after the show,
Where does he go nobody knows.

My name's Asher and those who care to ask,
I tell them I'm a rapper,
But I don't look like it not one bit,
I'm short and thin with some pale ass skin.

Got one girlfriend and I love her,
With two Sisters, a Father, and a Mother,
I guess I'm different like no other,
But you can't judge a book by it's cover.

I write about what I feel/see live,
My boys like to say I'm the realist it gets,
Sometimes I feel like Boston gets,
Maybe flip the script on some Roy G. Biv.

Whatever the mood no matter what I listen to,
I always do me and never do you,
I'd like to know what makes a rapper?
It might be me but I don't think it matters.

What does he look like nobody knows,
He's just a rapper in plain clothes,
When the curtain falls after the show,
Where does he go nobody knows.

"Once again, this is Pete Rockwell. Asher Roth. Puts a little pep in your step. As the homies say, this thang is jammin'. Pour me another scotch, Fargo. I'm just lovin' this right now! 30 years in the business, still baggin' out the hits! This is Pete Rockwell, Asher Roth, signing off."